I would like to take a moment to honour the Fathers …
Fix It or …
DISCLAIMER: The following blog post and my Mother’s stance in NO WAY applies to mental health issues. If you are suffering from mental health issues and all you can do is manage to text or whisper to a friend, to talk to a help line, or to write in a journal, YOU ARE DOING SO MUCH. Please do not suffer alone. My Mom would be the first to sit in silence with you, offering loving support with no need for words.
I love you.
I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I am thinking of my Mom and the “image” my followers may have of her (one that I might just blow apart with this blog post).
You may believe my Mom was incredibly wise. She was, in a beautifully humble way.
You may believe my Mom was very intelligent. I believe she was, although that did not come from a formal education. (My Mom, for a multitude of horrendous reasons, attained Grade Four.)
You may believe my Mom was silly and funny. That’s a definite “Yes!”
But what you may not realize is that my Mom was also incredibly demanding of us, her children. My Mom did not believe in free rides or taking it easy on her kids. My Mom believed her job was to “prepare us” for the world that we would live in after she was gone and that meant we had to learn how to stand on our own two feet.
Mom had many, many rules:
No laying down on the couch – “If you’re that tired, go to bed!”
No sleeping in – (I was never in bed past 8:00 a.m. in my Mother’s house, no matter what time I came in!)
And my fav and the reason for this blog post, one of her most favourite sayings – “Fix it or shut up!”
There you have it – fix it or shut up.
My Mother believed that complaining was a trickster, a facade, an illusion. By complaining and sharing, we believe we are “doing something” when we are, in fact, doing nothing at all except burdening someone else with our misery.
Sharing with the intent of solving a problem – Excellent!
Sharing to gain advice so you can do something about it – Excellent.
Sharing and doing nothing else – No. Full stop.
I hear her voice every time I want to whine about something. Before I utter the words, I mentally ask myself, “Am I prepared to do something about this?”
If yes, I share.
If no, I shut up.
It truly is that simple.
Imagine how much “noise”, how much negative energy, how much poisoned air would disappear if words were only shared to fix a problem (and yes, sharing with a healer or counselor IS fixing the problem. Totally encouraged!)
I have spent a lifetime “fixing things” about myself – about my relationships, about my view of the world, about how I speak to myself, about how I do things.
Why? I had to. I’m not known for shutting up! lol
Food for thought my friend. Don’t hate on my Mom or yours. Thank God for all the things she taught you to do (or not do). Take the best, leave the rest. With my Mom, I definitely had the best!
With that thought, today let us have a most amazing “fix it with no whining” day! Wanna?
It really isn’t that hard. Just takes practice and the desire … to fix it.
I love you!