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55 …

 

I am awake, I am alive, and today … is my birthday.

I did it. I actually did it! I have officially completed 55 laps around the amazing Sun and I say that with grateful tears in my eyes.

Why?

Because there were times I wasn’t sure I would. And even more times, I was positive I didn’t want to.

Because there are so many loved ones who didn’t get as much time.

Because .. I have dreamt of this day, mostly because in my mind, 55 was fully mature, like a stately tree in some amazing forest. Not an old tree, weathered, filled with mystery and memory and not the young sapling, bending and swaying with every gust of wind. A mature tree – one that now knows when to bend, when to stand still and simply enjoy the weather, and when to dig in deeper roots and that my friend, is now me.

For my children and grandchildren, I will bend over backwards if need be, for they are the thread that binds our collective pasts to our futures. I will not be the bead that breaks the necklace.

In my home, on the land, near water, under a tree, and on any stage I am blessed to stand upon, I will stand still, breathing in the collective wisdom of the people in the room (men and women who also stand and sway as need be), finally content and comfy to be the woman I am.

And wherever and whenever required, I will dig in my heels and roots as deep as need be to fight racism and oppression, to speak up for those who have yet to find their voice, to bring information to whiteness, to speak truth to power, to share with those open to hearing. Yes, I will continue sending out words and quotes and articles into a world so lacking in knowledge, a world choking on misinformation and aged stereotypes, that such information is received as fresh air.

Gone is the woman up to her NECK in responsibility. Instead, this morning I type these words as a woman who lives a life of service, forever dedicated to those that come next by helping those still here and I am blessed to serve.

On this day, with tear-filled eyes, I know my Mama is proud. She gave her all so I could love this day.

On this day, I know my Daddy is smiling. He knew I would one day see the woman in me he always knew existed. Today, is that day.

On this day and everyday, my kids are proud (and forgiving) as they continue to be my loudest cheerleaders, celebrating as I unpack each and every item in a once incredibly heavy suitcase.

And on this day and everyday, my grandkids are my joy, my breath of fresh air, my reminder of who benefits the most from my work.

Which brings me to you my friend, the human I reach out to each morning with this magic keyboard of mine. I type words to screen and through a magic I need not understand, they find their way to your screen, your life, your mind and sometimes, maybe even your heart.

I wake for you each morning. I think of you each time something erupts in our community, province, or country. I pray for you daily and I need you always.

You are the gift that never stops giving.

So on this, my 55th birthday, only one phrase comes to mind.

Thank you ….
I could not possibly have a better life.

 

I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sandi

 

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