Reinforce a Whisper …


Post discusses domestic violence

I am awake, I am alive, and this morning all I am thinking is … my cat is nuts.

Yep, as I type this she is batting around a bit of plastic she found. She is arguing with it, playing with it, loudly exclaiming her displeasure/pleasure with it and on and on it goes.

And then I realized … I just described my old life and the life of far too many women.

In this metaphor, we are the plastic they find, as they begin to mold us into the shape they desire. They argue with us when we don’t see things their way, even if the topic is what we wear, who we see, who we talk to, or even what we say.

They play with us, watching us dance, all the while LOUDLY exclaiming their displeasure in private, while politely sharing their pleasure when potential witnesses are near.

And on and on it goes.

My cat is playing with an object. That is fine. But abusers try to reduce human to object and that my friend, is never ever fine.

Today I think of them – the women still doubting their value, clinging desperately to an abuser who has them convinced they will not survive without him, the man who loves them in spite of all their shortcomings, the flaws that only he sees, but he loves her anyway. She should be grateful. She should stay.

But one day soon, I pray these women hear a different voice after the insults, one that dares to whisper inside their head, “No, that isn’t true. I’m not that bad.”

Slowly the seed grows, as she moves from blind faith in his depiction of her to a woman who dares to think “He is wrong.”

God willing, soon they will separate. She will be scared. She has been brainwashed to think she cannot survive without him. That fear may send her back again and again but each time the whisper gets stronger, each time she stays out a little longer, until one day, hopefully very very soon … she stays out of his cage.

This I pray.

Today my friend, let us play with toys, with objects, but never each other. Forget the daggers disguised as teasing. Forget the “joke” that only shows we are the one with the issues.

Instead, let us encourage and support and hug because that sales clerk may be the one fighting to hear the whisper, a whisper that can be amplified by the friendly voice of a stranger that reminds her she is doing a great job.

Food for thought..

Enjoy your day my friend, and consider listening to this song, sent to me by a friend. (WARNING – the topic is domestic violence and the lyrics may be upsetting to some.)

Whether you listen or not, enjoy this day my friend. Choose to, just because we can.

I love you.


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