I am awake, I am alive, and today I get to speak … to the future.
My Good, My Bad …
I’m awake, I’m alive, and this morning, I’m celebrating another great day.
And some wonder about that, they question how a simple morning can be so special to me. To them I say, “You don’t understand because you haven’t seen my bad”.
My bad was waking to my Mom screaming because she couldn’t wake my Dad. I was 17.
My bad was screaming because my infant daughter was gone. I was 20.
My bad was holding mom’s hand and giving the order to shut off the machines.
My bad is when my permanent neck injury reduces me to tears; when I have been stressed or tense and as a result, I can’t take the weight of my own head; when my usual 2-3 pain level goes to a FULL-ON 10; the nights when pain medications don’t work and you just pray for it to stop.
Last night was a real bad night so this morning, I am celebrating – celebrating relief from the pain, celebrating this reprieve, thankful that I can again hold my head high.
I won’t push it. No lifting for me. No stressful thoughts or actions. I know my limits. But I have also come to know that there is a whole lot worse than a cold winter morning.
So this is me, counting the great days, because they are what pulls me through the bad ones.
This is me, praying you are having a great one too.
I love you.