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Today’s Blog Post + …

 

I am awake, I am alive, and as participants slowing prepare to settle into the day’s agenda, I take a moment to enjoy this feeling of … contentment.

To explain – like many (if not all), I have spent most of my life in reaction mode, learning to surf the waves of life in all their forms. Some were easy to maneuver, some took concentration and determination, some blind-sided me, and others knocked me completely off my board for a time.

But I always got back up.

With news this week, came the realization that I am no longer riding random waves, for I now man a ship big enough to sustain the waves. No longer am I tossed here and there. Rather, now I read maps and weather patterns, ensuring that I continue to move forward at a pace that makes me smile.

This morning my smile is entirely the result of the realization that I am no longer simply surviving life, I am living the one I built. And not only do I love the life I built, I love the way I built it and more, the way I live it. As it turns out, the experts were right. Success did not require the world to change, but rather that I did.

And I have changed. I now rest my confidence on actions not dreams. I rest my predictions for the future on lessons learned in leaner times. I have changed and not in any bad way. I have matured, I have grown, and I continue to learn but that’s for another day.

Today is my graduation day of sorts, and today it is not an external force saying “You did it”. It’s me and it feels good..

If you see me today, know this is me, standing in my sun. This is me realizing that life truly can be fine if you are determined to make it so. This is me knowing that success will never be dependent on the wind, the rain, or another. Your success will always and forever be dependent on … you.

I believe in you my friend, and I always will. Keep going. Join me in the sun. Make it so.

 

I love you! HUGSSSSSSSSSSS
Sandi

*************************

Oh wow. Just saw the date …

Thirty-eight years ago, on this day, my life changed forever. My sun went out for the longest time. I began a journey of darkness, pain, and life-crushing self doubt that would last decades and it all started on this day, thirty-eight years ago.

Thirty-eight years ago today, my sun, the human who believed I walked on water, the man who made me believe I could do or be whatever I wanted to be… my father, died.

There was no warning. We kissed each other good night like a hundred times before. We closed our eyes but for him, it was for the last time.

He smiles now, from his heavenly home, for finally I see what he saw. Finally I believe in me the way he did. Finally.

But it took thirty-eight years to get here and on days like today, I just wish he didn’t have to leave so soon.

I love you Daddy.
Still your “little lump of sugar”.

Leo Ernest Boucher
June 11, 1913 – July 6, 1981.

 

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