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Forever Changed …

 

I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I smile, knowing that today I head home a forever changed woman.

Yes, this time in the bush has renewed me. I return home much more sure of where I stand, who I am, and how I stand in this space I have been gifted. But I also return home with a much greater understanding of “space” itself.

You see, this week/weekend I came to understood that we must hold space for others, we must continue to create safe spaces where they are free to unburden, to release their pain in a way that works for them, with as much time as they need to share. But more, I have come to realize that we have so underestimated the power of the circle and how it is now time to let them do more.

In short, our circles must be safe places where we can admit not only that we are in pain, but that we have CAUSED pain for it is THOSE memories that hold us back.

Think on it. How often have you not walked through a door, just knowing in your heart “they wouldn’t accept you”? How often have we not tried, not reached out, for fear that if the other knew the “real us” they would never let us in?

I know it well. For years I have walked in successful circles, yet in my mind I always thought “if they knew …”. My family circumstances, incidents in my past, the location and life of some I love – I was certain all these things would be judged, leading to my removal from the group.

But relationships are the kinda safe places I am referring to and a year or so ago, I shared my fears with a very white colleague. I didn’t, in any way, anticipate her full-on laughter in response to my sharing. Once she was done laughing, she placed her hand on mine, smiled and simply stated, “Oh honey. Let me tell you about MY family!”

And so it began, the wall came done and shame lost its hold on me.

Condemnation is not the Anishnaabe way. Our circles are not and cannot be conditional for when they are done right, there is truly no stronger place in my humble opinion.

So this is me, heading home with new wisdom, new strength and a newfound appreciation for the teachings slowly returning. I am ready Creator, ready to listen to all the amazing teachers you keep sending.

And shame … just a word directly to you.
Go back to hell where you belong!

I love you my friend!

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sandi

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