Pinch Me …


I am awake, I am alive, and this morning the only thing that comes to mind is … pinch me.

Because I woke up this morning in my amazing condo. As I made my morning coffee, I looked out over my beautiful living room. I was near tears as the thought came to me, “So much better than nights in the shelter”.

The thought lead to another. I gave thanks for my comfy bed in my amazing bedroom. So much better than the single bed in my niece’s daughter’s room, my refuge when the ex was again in one of his violent moods.

As my coffee brewed, I gave thanks for my Shangri La, but not before I gave thanks for all those steps that got me here, because I so needed those steps.

After all, those nights in the shelter or at my niece’s meant my children and I were safe. Those nights taught me there were places without violence and that I could have one too, if I would just believe.

And there my friend, is the issue. What do you believe you deserve? Poverty or comfort? Happiness or hardship? I shake my head when I think of my years of pure ego, taking pride in “just how much I could take”, never once realizing I didn’t have to. Never realizing that no one was impressed. Rather they were just afraid for me.

But they believed until I could, until I found myself living the life we all deserve – a safe one, a comfy one, a peaceful one. We all deserve a life filled with people who love and encourage us, a life that not only expects the best from us but allows us the space to be just that.

This home – my best yet. Perfect because this version of me is the best yet as well. Yet … there is more to come.

I love you my friend. Today, give thanks for whatever step you are on. Give thanks for the lessons it is trying to teach you and then, if it is not what you TRULY deserve, if it is less than you can achieve … well then, get busy. It is time my friend, time to take the next step.

I am right here, believing in you.



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