REAL Self Care …


I am awake, I am alive, and first and foremost prayers for the little man, the subject of the Amber Alert this morning. I pray he is home safe and soon.

That Amber Alert made me think of this world we have created, societies where babies are abandoned, abused, abducted and it made me shake my head at all the misplaced pride we feel in our nations. We can do better, we must do better. Which brings me to my self care thoughts of this morning …

Mom would say it time and time again, “Teach others how to treat you!”

She didn’t mean “be kind to them and they will be kind to you”. No, it was much more difficult than that! She meant “be kind to you so they see how to be kind to you”.

This morning I reflected on just how “kind I am to me” as I do believe it is the core model for how we treat others. (I mean, if we can’t even manage to be kind to ourselves, it is not a far stretch to see how we could be very unkind to others, if push came to shove. If insults and shots are already part of our inner dialogue, not a big leap to aim such ugly at another.)

I woke this morning as a result of the Amber Alert. I read it, prayed for him, then decided to get up since it was “that time” anyways. That’s when I made a mistake, I began catching up on social media before I even took a sip of coffee and before I hit the gym.

An Amber Alert then one friend struggling then another and another …

Now, don’t get me wrong here! I am happy my friends shared their reality, happy they are reaching out and not suffering in silence. I am happy that such things like the Amber Alert system exist. The mistake was in when I chose to bring that information into my world. Three negatives in a row and suddenly I was exhausted (one I could handle, three was getting heavy).

And here is where self care helped me. Long ago I learned that giving myself options eliminated the “leaf in the wind” feeling I despise so much. Choices mean I am still in charge, not forced to do one thing or another.

By CHOICE, I always get up 3 hours before I have to leave to go anywhere. Three hours allows me time to workout, sip my coffee, take a long shower, and debate clothing options without any need to rush.

In the same way, I always get 7 hours sleep. No matter how early I have to get up, 7 hours before the lights are out and my eyes are closed.

This morning, such self care habits allowed me to gift myself another hour sleep. I chose to be kind to me, to acknowledge the weight, to skip the work out and instead rest. I set an alarm so as not to oversleep and I allowed myself to close my eyes, relax, and reset.

I didn’t take an hour. I took 15 minutes. That’s all it took for me to reset back to my love of life. Now with coffee in hand and this blog post done, I may just hit the gym after all.

Self care my friend, is NOT a once-a-year spa trip. It is not a monthly night out. It is how you treat you day in and day out.

So please my friend, be kind to you today because this world needs a whole lot more kind and how we show up in the world starts with how we treat ourselves.

Food for thought.



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