Don't be a cat!
When explaining Indigenous hesitancy to work with non-Indigenous/mainstream people or entities, I often use this picture. As part of my new Onboarding program, I ask participants how they would go about proving they are not a cat. Lisa Cowan provided an AMAZING response and I have her permission to share it here so, here it is!
Things I do / can do to prove I’m ‘not a cat’ –
– Mentally allow the people I work with both time (to trust me/ got to know me) and space to do that – I can’t expect that just by seeming nice and friendly that they will instantly trust me or see me as a safe person.
– Not taking their distance personally (again, letting trust develop if they choose) but… still being reflective of my own behaviour to look at whether there is something I have done or said that wasn’t great.
– Expecting that they will be watching to see how I behave around other people, in particular Indigenous people as another way to see if I’m trustworthy/safe.
– Letting ongoing education, learning and feedback help inform and shape my behaviour.
– Not just saying the right words but looking at ways to do right action (in my work that might look like creating spaces to practice their spirituality and providing the medicines it do that; bringing in other community members so if they want to engage with their culture they don’t have to go far to do that; also being part and sharing those experiences if appropriate to do so).
I guess as I’m typing this I’m realizing that much of what I can do to prove I’m not a cat is on me, not about forcing engagement from another person or trying to get them to ‘like me’. I need to do the work and then wait.
– Lisa Cowan
Cultural Lens
In Lesson 2, participants are asked to share about a time when their cultural lens had them expecting something about a new place or new person, an expectation that later was proven to be wrong.
Amanda Mihalus had the BEST response. Here it is:
When I first began working with Indigenous communities, I expected all meetings to follow the structured, punctual, and formal business etiquette. Coming from a Western background where directness and efficiency were highly valued, I assumed the same would apply, especially in a professional setting.
However, I quickly learned that while formality was present, a significant amount of communication happened outside the formal structure, through subtleties, pauses, and indirect suggestions. I initially misinterpreted the team’s silence during meetings as disinterest or hesitation, when in reality, it was a sign of careful thought and respect. I also expected that decisions would be made quickly, but learned that consensus-building took more time and was valued far more than assertive individual opinions.
That experience shifted my perspective. I realized that my cultural lens had led me to value efficiency over harmony, and I began to appreciate the depth of group-oriented decision-making. It made me more open to listening without rushing to fill the silence, and more respectful of different communication styles.
Have a beautiful day!
Amanda
Program Review
I recently completed The Bridge – Indigenous Engagement Onboarding Program with Sandi Boucher, and I can honestly say it was one of the most impactful training experiences I’ve ever had. The program is thoughtfully structured into 17 short lessons, each packed with insightful content and followed by reflective questions that deepen your understanding. The format is easy to follow, incredibly engaging, and ideal for busy professionals seeking to expand their capacity to work respectfully and effectively with Indigenous peoples and communities.
Sandi’s teaching style is what truly sets this program apart. She communicates complex concepts using plain language, relatable metaphors, and even cartoons, making difficult topics accessible, memorable, and deeply human. What’s more, Sandi personally responds to your submitted reflections, offering encouragement and further nuance that builds both confidence and accountability. It feels less like a course and more like a guided journey led by someone who genuinely wants to see you succeed.
Whether you’re new to Indigenous engagement or looking to strengthen your organization’s approach, this program is a must. It not only offers the knowledge you need but also the perspective and mindset required to engage with humility, respect, and real impact. I highly recommend it.
Nicole Scott
The Hum
The video “The Hum” is included as bonus content in the program. This video highlights Sandi’s realization of her own internalized oppression. Amanda Mihalus was so moved by the video she provided the following comments:
I hope you are well today.
Watching “The Hum” left me profoundly moved and introspective. Your vulnerable storytelling highlighted the invisible weight many Indigenous people carry, even in moments of triumph. Your admission that you hadn’t written a speech because you didn’t believe you would win resonated with me as an example of internalized doubt born from repeated exclusion.
What struck me most was the metaphor of “the hum”—that persistent, background voice seeded by societal messages telling Indigenous people they don’t belong, can’t succeed, or aren’t welcome. I found it heartbreaking that you couldn’t name a single person who told you you couldn’t do it, yet the belief was so ingrained that it came spilling out during one of the most public, affirming moments of your life. That’s what systemic racism does—it becomes a part of your inner voice.
The moment when every single Indigenous person in the audience raised their hand, acknowledging they too had heard “the hum,” was a powerful revelation. It reminded me that people often suffer in silence, thinking they are alone, when in truth, their pain is widely shared and collectively carried.
This reflection challenges me to be more mindful and compassionate, especially when I witness hesitation or self-doubt in others. Instead of judging why someone might not “just go for it,” I now consider what internalized barriers they may be wrestling with—what “hum” they may be trying to silence. This video has left a lasting impression on how I see resilience, reconciliation, and the quiet but profound impact of belief—in oneself and in others.
Thank you so much for sharing this Sandi.
Amanda Mihalus
Program Review
Sandi Boucher has for many years strived to provide guidance and advice on how to advance truth and reconciliation. Her goal is to build equitable and positive relationships between indigenous and non indigenous persons.
She is both practical and wise in her approach..
She has produced a wide range of tools to advance this goal. From books to seminars to online coaching, she has a proven track record of providing useful advice and tools.
Her latest offering is a video course on what and how to avoid pitfalls and to initiate constructive interactions with indigenous persons especially when they are your employer and or your clients.
The course consists of 17 lessons which are short and effective. They range from 1 to 10 minutes in length so are easy to use and time efficient. Sandi delivers her material in a calm, concise manner which is warm and welcoming. Her succinct style enables the listener to both learn and understand the tools provided.
In summary, this course provides valuable insights in a simple format which will provide you with practical tools to build a mutually constructive relationship with indigenous persons, employers and clients.
Sandi, a big thanks to you for providing this newest learning tool
Cheers .
Frank Wilson
Thunder Bay /Binesii M’wikwedong
Program Review
As a non-Indigenous woman I have spent the last 5 years actively taking Indigenous led courses, workshops and events as a way to learn the truth about the shared history of our country and ways to work towards genuine reconciliation.
I just finished Sandi Boucher’s Employee Onboarding Program and highly recommend it!
While this course is meant for new employees, anyone in Canada would benefit from taking it. If you are ready to make a difference in your organization or business, take this course. If you are working with or for Indigenous people, take this course. If you are afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing, take this course.
You will begin to understand the differences in our cultures and why. You will learn what is acceptable and what is not. And the best part, Sandi will respond to you personally.
And she does it in about 10 minutes a day!
Well worth it.
Sue Methuen
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