Sandi's Blog

The Phrases We Use To Describe Others

 
I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I am once again pondering the words we use. This time I am specifically thinking of the phrases we use to describe others, especially those we admire, and how misleading or even damaging they can be to the receiver.

Case in point – you tell your daughter she is beautiful. You want to acknowledge that her heart is bigger than the heart of any other person you know, that she is caring and sweet, and that you are so blessed to know and love her.

But you say she is “beautiful”, and she thinks that means her hair or her eyes or her cute smile. And over time she grows panicky at the thought of a haircut or over having to get glasses. And on days when she is down or challenged or upset, her little-girl brain tells her that she is ugly (she must be, her hair is a mess, her eyes red, and she isn’t smiling). And that little-girl brain will talk to her for years.

Another example – “not afraid to take chances”. I am often described in such a way. So is that person who dares to move away for a job or for school. So is that person who risks going on a dating site.

This is me calling bullsh*t!

I can only speak for me but for the record, I am DAMN SCARED to take chances on the reg! I lose sleep. I wonder. I pace. But I do it … because I won’t settle. I can’t live in the employment box of others! I can’t have another deciding what I can say, who I must work with, or what days I get to spend with my family! (Those who can, awesome. Not for me!)

So, I take chances. Well-thought out yet scary chances nevertheless, because nothing scares me more than giving up on me.

I almost did that years ago, in that abusive relationship.

I almost did that years ago, in that bar. But I didn’t and I won’t do it now.

So today, my friend, I guess what I am asking you to do is say what you really mean. Say you love how that person DARES to take chances. Tell that young woman that you love how CARING and considerate she is.

Just like, I don’t know many of you are reading these words. I don’t know your fears or your strengths. I don’t know the challenges you have overcome. But I know each morning I come here to this desk. I type words from the heart and send them out into the universe, PRAYING to my Creator that they will find the man or woman who needs to hear them …

And each morning, so many of you respond. You hug me back or thank me for sharing. You private message me to share how much you needed the words or you like and share the post.

And every time you do that, my fear diminishes. Your responses show me, without fail, that taking the chance of honouring my truth, of sharing my thoughts, of daring to speak up in a world that so wants to silence the Indigenous, the female, the person of colour … is a good thing.

So, this is me saying I do love you but more, I thank Creator for you, for you are the light that allows me to find my way out of the dark.

And trust me, I do know the dark.

Thank you.
 

I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sandi
 

***This is an excerpt from Sandi’s most recent book, “I am Awake …”. available for purchase on her website or on Amazon.ca.***