Sandi's Blog

What We Choose to Accept

 
I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I am pondering acceptance and how we have to be damn careful what we choose to accept…

I never really accepted a violent partner. I felt trapped, unsure how to get out, but sitting in that shelter with my children time and time again, I never accepted. In fact, my internal voice kept screaming, “I am not meant to be here! This is not what my life was meant to be! It can’t be!”

I thank Mom and Dad for that light in the darkness.

But years later, I accepted my partner’s alcoholism. It sickens me to acknowledge that I accepted that once a month or so, when his drinking got to the extreme level again, I would have to sneak the kids out and go stay at my brother’s until he quit again, and the cycle started over. (The cycle for those unfamiliar – abstain, drink occasionally, drink on weekends, drink on weekends and once or twice during the week, drink almost daily, explosion. Repeat.)

And again, with another partner. I hate that I accepted the words he said when he was angry, that I allowed him to disrespect me so.

But partners were not the only culprit.

I hate that I ever thought that drinking on the weekend was the only way to handle the stress of my life.

I hate that I accepted my unhealthy weight, my bad decisions, a lousy boss, and on and on but, I am getting better.

Nowadays, my posts speak of empowering things, of what you can do to enjoy all you bring to the table (your strength, your wisdom, your humour) but before you get on the empowerment train, you best look at what you are accepting and decide what you refuse to accept anymore.

Because I could so easily still be that abused woman, escaping my life with alcohol. Thankfully, I chose not to accept that … about me.

What do you accept my friend and is that decision hurting you? I pray you do not accept laziness, horrible behavior, or bad decisions from anyone including yourself.
 

I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sandi
 

***This is an excerpt from Sandi’s most recent book, “I am Awake …”. available for purchase on her website or on Amazon.ca.***