Sandi's Blog

Fix It or Shut Up

DISCLAIMER: The following blog post and my Mother’s stance in NO WAY applies to mental health issues. If you are suffering from mental health issues and all you can do is manage to text or whisper to a friend, to talk to a help line, or to write in a journal, YOU ARE DOING SO MUCH. Please do not suffer alone. My Mom would be the first to sit in silence with you, offering loving support with no need for words.

I love you.
Sandi

I am awake, I am alive, and this morning I am thinking of my Mom and the “image” my followers may have of her (one that I might just blow apart with this blog post).

You may believe my Mom was incredibly wise. She was, in a beautifully humble way.

You may believe my Mom was very intelligent. I believe she was, although that did not come from a formal education. (My Mom, for a multitude of horrendous reasons, attained Grade Four.)

You may believe my Mom was silly and funny. That’s a definite “Yes!”

But what you may not realize is that my Mom was also incredibly demanding of us, her children. You see, my Mom did not believe in taking it easy on her kids. My Mom believed her job was to “prepare us” for the world that we would live in after she was gone and that meant we had to learn how to stand on our own two feet.

As a result, Mom had many, many rules:

No laying down on the couch – “If you’re that tired, go to bed!”

No sleeping in – (I was never in bed past 8:00 a.m. in my Mother’s house, no matter what time I came in!)

And my fav and the reason for this blog post, one of her most favourite sayings – “Fix it or shut up!”

There you have it – fix it or shut up.

My Mother believed that complaining was a trickster, an illusion. By complaining and sharing, we believe we are “doing something” when we are, in fact, doing nothing at all except burdening someone else with our misery.

Sharing with the intent of solving a problem – Excellent!

Sharing to gain advice so you can do something about it – Excellent. Sharing to unburden yourself so you can begin to heal – Excellent. Sharing and doing nothing else – No. Full stop.

I hear her voice every time I want to whine about something. Before I utter the words, I mentally ask myself, “Am I prepared to do something about this?”

If yes, I share. If no, I shut up. It truly is that simple.

Now please, don’t hate on my Mom or yours. Thank God for all the things she taught you to do (or not do). Take the best, leave the rest. With my Mom, I definitely had the best!

I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSS

Sandi

***This is an excerpt from Sandi’s most recent book, “I am Awake …”. available for purchase on her website or on Amazon.ca.***